The Invisible Toxicity In A Relationship!

One of the first few things that my dream girl asked me to do when we got into a relationship was to stop talking to other girls too much, especially my best friend Divya.

I don't remember exactly what it was all, but the conclusion was that I should not be talking too much with Divya.

Divya was and is really an important person in my life. I belong to a village and that's why I was an odd one out in my class back then when I went to a city for my studies. Divya stood with me at that time. She befriended me and that made me feel normal about myself.

A year later, this girl walks into my life, we get into a relationship and she asks me to stay away from Divya. And like many teenagers, I do the same. Not only that, I moved away from many of my guy best friends too, well, because my then-girlfriend thought that they were not good guys.

That's most probably the stupidest thing I have ever done.

And I don't blame or hate her for the same. Because, even though I don't remember, even I must have asked her to stop talking to a few guys. Back then, as a teenager, I loved the fact that she was so possessive of me. I loved that she loves me so much that she can't see me even talking with any other girl.

That is not just stupid, but also toxic. Jealousy and possessiveness are glamorized as the essential ingredients of true love these days.

Recently a video of Riteish Deshmukh, Genelia D'Souza and Preity Zinta from the IIFA Awards 2019 went viral.

Different people perceived it differently, according to their understandings. People used the video to convey and confirm their beliefs.

Some said that clearly Genelia is disgusted. Some said that she is uncomfortable. Some said that a man should not behave like that. And a lot of people circulated the video with the tagline - there is no true love without jealousy.

Thankfully, a few days later, Genelia made a reel on Instagram about the same video and brought some laughter. That video shows how mature the couple is.

Even I believed that Genelia is just natural in that video. What do people expect her to do? Should she have smiled like a fool for a few minutes? She did smile for some time and then stood expressionless, which is quite normal. There are no such signs of disgust or jealousy on her face. But, again, that's my perception.

Whatever it was, people didn't leave any stones unturned to glamorize jealousy and possessiveness with the help of that video.

That's just one example. There are millions of such posts on social media, which promote jealousy and possessiveness as an indication of true love.

But, if you ask me, jealousy and possessiveness are the signs of mistrust and insecurities. And the behavioural incidents that take place because of these feelings are toxic and harmful.

One can not cage people with feelings in any way. If they want to betray and cheat, they will, no matter how hard you try. Possessiveness seems lovely initially, but eventually, it becomes suffocative.

The harsh truth is that to lead a healthy social life, you need not just your partner but other people too. Friends, colleagues, acquaintances, classmates etc play a very important role in your life. It's nearly impossible to live your entire life while being close to just your partner. One must have a close bonding with other people too.

The wise thing to do is to let your partner breathe some fresh air and let them float on their own. Whether they truly love you or not will come to light, sooner or later.